Finding Your Vibrant Middle: Why Life Isn't Black and White

Have you ever felt exhausted by the constant pressure to choose sides? A year ago, I found myself thinking about something that had been bothering me for a while. Everywhere I looked – in wellness advice, news headlines, social media debates – everything was becoming increasingly black and white. You're either thriving or failing. You follow THE perfect morning routine or you're doing it wrong. You're on this side or that side, right or wrong, good or bad.

But life isn't that simple – so why do we think our decisions about living a good life should be?

For years, I'd found myself saying to friends and family, "There's a lot of grey between those black and white opinions." But last year, as I sat with that phrase more deeply, I realized grey felt... blah. Neutral. Uninspiring. What if the space between extremes wasn't grey at all? What if it was like a full spectrum of light – or like having access to an entire box of crayons instead of just two?

What if the space between extremes wasn't grey at all? What if it was like a full spectrum of light – or like having access to an entire box of crayons instead of just two?"

That's how the idea of the "Vibrant Middle" came to me – not as a compromise or settling for less, but as recognition that the most interesting, sustainable, and authentic living often happens in that rich, colorful space between extremes. The space in between is where we can find variation we might not even know about or can't imagine. It offers us so much more variety and opportunities.

The Space Between

Think about it in your own life. When have your best decisions come from choosing between only two options? How often has the "perfect" solution actually been perfect for you? Most of the meaningful choices we make – in relationships, careers, parenting, health – require us to navigate complexity rather than follow simple rules.

Yet our culture increasingly pushes us toward extremes. The loudest voices get the most attention. The most dramatic transformations get the most clicks. The all-or-nothing approaches get the most followers. But for those of us living actual, complex lives, these extremes often feel exhausting and unsustainable.

What if there's another way? One that's quieter but with equal – if not more – lasting impact?

Consider how nature demonstrates this. A tree doesn't decide to always be green – it naturally flows through seasons, changing colors throughout the year. And no two trees in a forest are exactly the same shade, even in the same season. It's this variation – both within each tree over time and across the landscape – that creates the richness we find beautiful. Our lives can work the same way: we don't need to stay the same all the time, and we don't need to be the same as everyone else.

Living in Full Color

The Vibrant Middle isn't about being wishy-washy or avoiding decisions. It's about recognizing that sustainable wellbeing often requires holding multiple truths at once. You can value both solitude and connection. You can care deeply about your health while also enjoying imperfect meals. You can be committed to growth while accepting where you are right now.

This approach asks different questions than our either/or culture typically offers:

• Instead of "What's the right way?" it asks "What's right for me in this season of my life?"

• Instead of "How do I fix this?" it asks "How do I work with what is?"

• Instead of "What should I be doing?" it asks "What actually nourishes me?"

These questions require more nuance, but they offer much more valuable information to guide the choices that are best for us. They require us to tune into our own inner wisdom rather than following external authorities. They ask us to trust our experience rather than comparing ourselves to others. They invite us to see our lives as unique ecosystems rather than problems to be solved.

This approach invites us to become curious about our own patterns, to notice what actually works rather than what we think should work, to trust the intelligence of our own experience while remaining open to new information.

This can feel uncomfortable at first. Simple solutions are seductive because they promise certainty in an uncertain world. But most of us have discovered, often repeatedly, that simple solutions rarely account for the complexity of real life.

Finding your vibrant middle asks us to get comfortable with nuance. To hold space for "it depends." To value integration over perfection. To see our lives as ongoing experiments rather than problems to be solved once and for all.

This doesn't mean avoiding commitment or living without structure. Instead, it means creating structures and making commitments that have enough flexibility to grow with us. It means choosing approaches that honor both our current reality and our evolving nature.

So what might this look like in your own life?

Your Own Vibrant Middle

What would your own Vibrant Middle look like? Where in your life are you being asked to choose between extremes that don't actually fit your reality? What areas of your life might benefit from more color, more nuance, more trust in your own wisdom?

Maybe it's in self-care – finding the space between rigid discipline and complete neglect, where you keep your body moving while also honoring your need for rest. Maybe it's in relationships – maintaining your independence while creating meaningful connections. Maybe it's in work – integrating productivity and restoration rather than swinging between burnout and guilt.

The Vibrant Middle isn't a destination you arrive at – it's a way of approaching life that honors complexity while still moving forward with intention. It's about finding your own authentic balance rather than copying someone else's definition of success.

In a world that profits from our dissatisfaction with where we are, choosing to find the vibrant middle might be one of the most revolutionary acts we can take. It's a gentle rebellion against the pull of extremes, an invitation to trust our own experience, and a recognition that sustainable wellbeing is rarely found in the dramatic gestures but in the daily practice of working skillfully with what is.

Where in your life are you being asked to choose between extremes that don't actually fit your reality?

What would it look like to explore the colorful space between those poles?

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Curious to explore your Vibrant Middle?

In the coming weeks I'll be offering a program for you to explore your own vibrant middle.

Learn more and sign up for updates here.